Stuck on You
by BlackShuck
Summary: Sirius is jealous. Harry is oblivious. A prank is played. It has some interesting results and two pranksters discover unexpected things as they struggle with the consequences of their own actions. Fluffy slash. HPSB.
1. Chapter 1

**Stuck on You**

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co are the property of JKR; I'm just playing with them… and promise to return them unharmed and considerably happier than before.

**Summary:** Sirius is jealous. Harry is oblivious. A prank is played. It has some interesting results and two pranksters discover unexpected things as they struggle with the consequences of their own actions. (And don't ask me when the hell it is set; I don't know either… just call it AU, as I seem to have wilfully ignored the last 2 and ¼ books.)

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"Why can't he just stop pawing Harry about? Why?" Sirius fumed as he restlessly smeared his fingers through the fog his breath had created on the glass of the kitchen window.

Remus gave a loud snort of laughter before he could stop himself. "You know, I wish I could say it was your stay in Azkaban affecting your brain, but I think you were always like this."

"Look at them!" Sirius rumbled menacingly, nose almost pressed to the window pane. "He can't keep his hands off him! He keeps checking out his arse too!"

Remus started nervously at the enraged bounce his friend gave as Oliver Wood moved closer to Harry. "Well, not really Sirius. Actually, I think they might be shaking hands."

"Mere details!" Sirius flapped a dismissive hand and glared a bit more.

Remus cringed as Oliver Wood laughed and planted a chaste kiss on Harry's cheek.

"See!" Sirius howled. "Seduction is afoot!"

Remus closed his eyes as Sirius bounded away. "Why do I have a terribly bad feeling about this?" He moaned as he reluctantly abandoned his comfortable chair and hot porridge and followed in the wake of a barefoot Sirius, out into the garden. Only to find a purple-faced Sirius glaring at a red-faced Harry who _had_ apparently been embracing Oliver Wood.

_Interesting. _Remus decided. _And Awkward._

He wondered briefly if he could get away with just stunning Sirius and claiming that some bizarre beast of Luna's had wormed into his ear and attacked his sense of reason. Nah, Harry would never buy that and then he'd want to know what was being concealed from him. And these days, if Harry ever so much as scented a merest hint of a secret, then he was after it like a rat up a drainpipe, and then when Harry discovered the truth, Sirius would likely throw a major strop and life wouldn't be terribly worth living.

So Remus quickly came to the conclusion that discretion was the better part of valour and simply firmly grabbed Sirius, deciding to force a hasty retreat. If Sirius couldn't bring himself to tell Harry how he felt and lost him to a good-looking heroic young quidditch player then that was his problem. But he wasn't about to let Sirius play dog in the manger and ruin something nice for Harry either.

"Why did you do that?" Sirius hissed, as his determined friend (who could be considerably stronger than he looked) forcibly propelled him back into the kitchen.

"To stop you making an even bigger arse of yourself." Remus responded calmly "This whole thing with you and Harry is getting more bizarre by the day. Honestly, charging them both in the garden in just your dressing gown? That says a bit more than over-protective."

Sirius shrugged as he straightened his black silk robe and affected a relaxed and dignified pose that was ruined by his neck craning to see what Harry was doing. "You just don't like the idea of me and Harry together." He accused Remus once he'd decided that that Harry was at a suitable distance from his overly grabby admirer.

"I admit that the combination of the discrepancy of ages and your supposed responsibilities was something I initially baulked at." Remus allowed mildly. "But everyone has a right to live and love as they please, so I'm hardly going to deliberately attempt to deny you an opportunity of happiness if Harry ever seems willing to view you as more than a godfather and friend. But letting you rampage about and cock things up for Harry if he really likes Oliver just isn't going to happen."

Sirius scowled and absently accepted the cup of tea Remus pressed on him. "But I want him so much Moony." He whined as he slumped in his chair. "Like I never wanted anybody before." He finished with an air of wonderment.

Remus sipped at his own tea and sighed heavily at the air of frustrated bewilderment radiating from his dejected friend. "Merlin preserve me from Sirius Black in love." He muttered.

xxx

Once Remus had left the garden dragging an unwilling Sirius in his wake Harry took a deep breath. "Sorry about that Oliver. They do tend to be just a tad overprotective sometimes. Sirius especially."

Oliver managed a smile. "Just a tad?" He teased.

Harry pulled a face. "I know! With those two prowling about, it's a wonder I'm not still a horribly repressed blushing virgin."

Oliver chuckled but still looked nervous.

"You _can_ change your mind you know?" Harry prodded. "I'm happy to go to this thing with you, but you might catch less abuse with someone who isn't, well… me. Destroyer of the Dark Lord, most gossiped-about wizard in England, exceptionally well-guarded godson etc."

"I know who you are Harry." Oliver said.

"Do you really?" Harry muttered under his breath as he made his way back to the house in search of Remus.

xxx

"Um, have you noticed anything, well, _wrong_ with Sirius?" Harry asked hesitantly when he managed to catch Remus alone for a moment.

"Something wrong with Sirius? Surely not?" Remus quipped sarcastically as he laid his book aside and picked up his tea.

Harry grinned and propped himself up against a bookshelf. "Well, _more_ wrong with Sirius than usual then."

Remus frowned as he sipped carefully at the hot liquid. Harry was no fool, and obviously was starting to catch on to the fact that there was something up. Sirius would have to be more careful if he didn't want to disturb or otherwise alienate Harry.

"Remus?" Harry prompted.

"Oh, I think he's looking forward to the Victory Ball, and is concerned that you enjoy it as much as he plans to, and it's making him a touch… er, excitable." Remus lied brightly. _Well, it wasn't a total lie _he consoled his conscience_. Sirius would want Harry to enjoy the ball – just as long as it was in his company and not somebody else's._

But Harry's eyebrows raised a fraction in response. "Be honest Remus. He doesn't like Oliver does he?"

"Um, well no actually." Remus confessed. "But _I_ think Oliver is a nice man, and honestly Harry, you know how Sirius is. You need to ignore him being difficult and just go ahead and date whoever it is who makes you the happiest - or there really isn't much point in dating at all. Sirius _will_ get over it." _Maybe. _He added mentally. _Eventually._ _After years, and a lot of raging, sobbing and sabotage attempts anyway._

Harry's grin faltered for a moment and Remus wondered what caused that.

But then he seemed to recover himself and turned to leave. "Thanks Remus. But Sirius doesn't need to start worrying about the prospect of wedding bells or roughing up my potential groom. Well, maybe not just yet anyway."

Remus sat in frozen horror after Harry had departed. _Wedding Bells?_

"Oh Shit." He said succinctly. Sirius would be _hell_ to live with if it actually came to that.

"Did he say something about wedding bells?" Peeped a miserable little voice.

Remus closed his eyes as Sirius shuffled into the room looking thoroughly dejected. "He said not yet." He tried to soothe his friend.

"Not yetRemus? Not YET! The yet is the most important part of that sentence!" Sirius was wild eyed with horror at the prospect of losing Harry before he'd even had a chance with him. "I have to do something! Quickly!"

_Why me?_ Remus wondered as he sneaked a hefty slug of brandy into his tea.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sheer genius on our part." Fred sighed happily.

"Indeed brother mine." George agreed comfortably.

Harry raised an eyebrow and exchanged an amused glance with a nearby Sirius, before returning his attention to the pot of pinkish ooze resting on the kitchen tabletop.

Harry poked at it cautiously with a teaspoon and recoiled as the ooze made a faint belching noise and reared up in response, tangling tendrils around the spoon and sucking it in. "Is this a good idea?" He asked nervously. "I don't want Ron and Hermione to be, y'know, seriously damaged by this stuff."

Fred and George promptly draped their arms around his shoulders and stretched their features into their patented looks of pure innocence. "Now Harrikins, would we _ever_…?" they began.

"I've known you two for nine years." Harry reminded them mildly.

The arms were removed. "Bugger." Both twins said good-naturedly.

Sirius was watching the proceedings with interest as he cleared away the last of the dinner things. "What exactly are you three planning?" He leaned closer to peer curiously at the strange substance and blinked as it abruptly ejected the teaspoon, which seemed none the worse for the experience.

Harry looked up at his godfather with a welcoming grin and Sirius happily took this an invitation to seat himself opposite the devious trio of plotters. _Harry was not lost to him yet. With some careful planning and fast moves he could still win the Harry-shaped prize._

"Ron and Hermione have been dancing around each other for far too long now and I'm getting very tired of the endless bickering as foreplay thing, so I asked these two pranksters to help me fix things." Harry explained, and Sirius did his best to pay attention.

"So in your exasperation you've decided to feed your unfortunate lovebird friends to this lovely little cauldron of pink slime?" Sirius suggested lightly. _Because humour always worked to get blokes interested, right?_

Harry kicked him under the table and rolled his eyes. Sirius kicked back and they locked ankles and struggled with each other, and for a few seconds, the matchmaking properties of pink slime was utterly forgotten by them both.

Fred interrupted the foot-war. "Hem Hem."

Harry shuddered and stopped messing about. "Ugh, don't Fred. So many years on and I _still_ think of that bloody toad Umbridge when I hear someone do that." He shook himself and continued. "No Sirius, the twins and I are merely going to fix things so that they _have_ to go to the Victory Ball together in an unmistakably couple-like fashion instead of messing about like they have been doing for too bloody long."

"Yes, as Harry said, our idiot brother and his bookworm have a strange and endless mating dance going. It is now annoying us all – not just poor Harry." George took up the explanation.

"So we figured out a way to make them appear in public as a couple, and thus the enforced charade will likely become reality." Fred continued.

"We also think they might both mellow-"

"-If they actually got some."

"And as Harry is our beloved major investor, we, the marvels Gred and Forge have invented something for him that will stick them together for two days… and two _long hot_ _nights._" The twins both wiggled their eyebrows dramatically as George finished speaking.

Sirius couldn't help but notice that the eyebrows in question were somewhat sparse and purple, and wondered idly if that would be a side effect of whatever they were planning to inflict on the hapless Ron and Hermione.

"Sounds good to me," Harry said.

"Yeah, fun." Agreed Sirius, wondering if he could get deeply embroiled in this latest prank, because really, whatever opportunity to spend time with Harry was good, but if mischief was involved – even better… "If you need any help…"

George and Fred melodramatically clutched at each other, squashing a protesting Harry in the process. "The Great and Wonderful Padfoot is going to help us. Oh be still our little hearts…"

Sirius grinned and sketched a slight bow. _ Easy. Having a reputation for this kind of thing really did help at times._

Harry effectively ended the idiocy by embedding an elbow deeply into the soft belly of each twin, and snatched up the wriggling pot of goop with a grin. "Well, no time like the present."

"Smear just little bit on each of them," Fred said seriously, "bare skin mind."

"Just a tiny little bit will do, and it doesn't matter if they try to wipe it off, because unless they actually go and wash it off within a couple of seconds it'll just rub it in," George chimed in.

"Let it soak into their skin for at least ten minutes," Fred added.

"Then when they touch each other, bare skin mind, point your wand and just say: _Activate Lovers_!" George finished.

Harry saluted and left the room followed closely by Sirius.

"I almost wish I hadn't loaned my cloak to Remus so he could sneak off to get his Wolfsbane dose, it would have simplified things to be able to creep in and do the deed invisibly," Harry grumbled to Sirius.

They lurked uncertainly in the doorway to the lounge. Hermione and Ron were alone, as the plotters had hoped. Ron was absently picking at his teeth as his broom rested unattended in his lap, and Hermione was reading a thin booklet with a fierce expression on her face as she blindly scribbled depressingly tidy looking notes.

"How can she write in straight lines without looking?" Sirius mumbled.

Harry shrugged. "She is Hermione. She is abnormal. Merlin only know why Ron wants to get tangled up with her, he must have some serious sub-dom fantasies to want to be bossed incessantly for the rest of his days."

Sirius choked quietly for a moment before recovering himself and leaned closer to whisper in Harry's ear. "Do you think it will look less immediately suspicious if you treat Hermione and I treat Ron?"

Harry was proud of himself when he managed not to squirm at the puff of warm air sliding past his ear, "Yeah, I guess so, better than me just going and slopping it over both their heads anyway… grab a bit of this stuff, and we'll do it."

Ron looked up dopily as Sirius slapped him on the back and managed to dab a bit of slimy potion on the back of his neck. "Hi Sirius." He mumbled, unaware of the tiny blob of pink goop now residing on his neck.

Sirius subtly wiped his slimy hand on his jeans and grinned. "Game of chess mate?"

Ron immediately began setting up the board; Sirius was one of very few people currently at Grimmauld Place who was remotely worth challenging at his second favourite game.

Harry was leaning over Hermione, fully aware that his task would be more difficult. "What are you reading?" He asked casually.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione blinked up at him, her quill stuttering to a halt. "Simply fascinating accounts about the properties of Flux Weed in a newly developed potion. I simply had to take notes, I thought I could discuss it with Professor Slughorn over dinner tomorrow."

Harry grinned and leaned closer. "Quite a lot of stuff there for poor old Horace to wade though," he teased as he tweaked at a lock of unruly hair, carefully smearing a tiny trace of potion on her jaw as he did so.

Hermione blinked and brushed at her face, only succeeding in rubbing the pink smudge into her skin. "Well, I'm looking forward to discussing it. I imagine it seems sort of silly to be so obsessed by learning as my NEWTS were so long ago, I can't exactly get any more qualifications now unless I manage to get an apprenticeship."

Harry squeezed her shoulder. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't have a learning related passion going on, and if you want an apprenticeship of any sort I'm sure you'll manage to get it without much difficulty." He reassured her as he took the seat beside her and began flicking through her notes. Potions had made a lot more sense to him in the years since Snape had ceased teaching them, and on occasion they were even somewhat interesting.

Twenty minutes passed peacefully. Hermione finally managed to exhaust her supply of information, and Harry's limited interest had already waned, so she and Harry drifted across to watch the chess game playing out.

Harry folded his arms and leaned them on Sirius's shoulders. After a minute he rested his jaw on Sirius's shoulder. It was a very nice position to be in, and hopefully Hermione would take it as encouragement to move closer to Ron – in a friendly way of course.

Hermione moved hesitantly closer to Ron, and Harry mumbled almost inaudibly: "C'mon touch him. You know you want to, snogging is _much_ more fun than studying bloody potions." He felt Sirius snort softly in response as he made a very poor move – apparently distracted by Harry's quiet commentary.

Ron was quick to take advantage and was soon calling checkmate, as Sirius's play rapidly worsened.

Sirius shrugged at the defeat, "Good game Ron."

Ron shook his head. "Nah, not really, I thought you had me for a minute, but then you suddenly made that really daft play with your bishops and I had you."

Sirius smiled happily, "Well, I had Harry drooling down my neck, which proved a bit distracting."

"I do not drool." Harry protested with wounded dignity as he removed himself from his draped position over Sirius.

Sirius twisted to face him with mischief glinting in his eyes. "You did so, and if you don't have sufficient control to even know you drool then I'll have to take you away and give you some lessons in etiquette."

Harry and Sirius exchanged a meaningful glance and Sirius hastily got to his feet. "So I'll return Harry to you when he has managed to master the art of not drooling down my neck."

Harry nodded and fled the room closely followed by Sirius. They both pounded away down the hall and made a production of opening and slamming a nearby door before swiftly sneaking back to listen outside the lounge.

"Honestly, Harry and Sirius are a really bad influence on each other." Hermione was saying as they resettled themselves. "That was just so weird."

"Yeah, I dunno what that was all about." Ron agreed. "Good to have a half-decent game with someone though, because I'm getting a bit fed up with just sitting here safely in limbo, recovering from our completely not serious injuries and waiting for the ministry to importantly finish rounding up all the last surviving Death Eaters before we all go back to living our proper lives without threat of assassination. Which can't be _that _threatening if the stinking ministry is throwing a ball tomorrow night." His voice trailed off as his gaze was drawn back to the board. "Though I'm _still_ not sure what he was trying to do with the bishops."

"That was the oddest thing though." Hermione persisted, "Did you see the look Sirius had on his face when Harry was, well, snuggling up to him? He started playing badly immediately."

"Well, he said Harry drooled on him." Ron said matter of factly. "I don't think I'd be too focused if Harry did that to me. Yuck."

In the hall Harry huffed and Sirius did a poor job of containing a snort, which prompted Harry to briefly apply a headlock.

Hermione huffed too, oblivious to the scuffle taking place in the hall. "No, I don't think he did. The look Sirius had on his face wasn't disgusted, just distracted and sort of… blissful I guess." She ended thoughtfully.

"Blissful? Aw, you secretly like my drool." Harry teased Sirius, sniggering in a rather ticklish manner against the back of his neck.

Before Hermione could speculate any further in a manner almost guaranteed to embarrass him, Sirius saw Ron rest a hand against Hermione's bare forearm and promptly waved his wand and muttered the activation.

Suddenly Ron gasped: "I can't let go!"

"What?" There was a small sound of struggle and Harry and Sirius almost toppled over as they both eagerly craned their necks to see Ron and Hermione wrestling together, as Ron's fingers remained stubbornly attached to her arm. They muffled their laughter at Hermione's shriek of frustration when she managed to slide Ron's hand down her arm and to her hand, only to discover that their fingertips stubbornly remained attached.

"Harry and Sirius did this!" She announced suddenly. "I _knew_ there was something up with them!"

"So lets go find them." Ron urged eagerly as he started towards the door, his long strides pulling poor Hermione off her feet.

Sirius and Harry meanwhile, had decided that it was time for them to be elsewhere. Harry let go of Sirius, and straightened up, or at least he tried to.

It took a panicked Harry and Sirius a few seconds to realise that not only had they pranked Ron and Hermione; they had also pranked themselves. Harry's face was pressed snugly against Sirius's neck, and he couldn't move it away.


	3. Chapter 3

Moving with a very ungraceful stagger, with Harry's face still mashed into the back of Sirius's neck they managed to lurch around the corner and were safely tucking themselves out of sight in the broom cupboard when Ron and Hermione rushed rather gracelessly out of the lounge.

In the broom cupboard Sirius was now laughing hysterically. "I'll have to go to St Mungos - I've got this terrible unsightly lump growing on the back of my head!"

Harry growled and clapped a hand over Sirius's mouth, and immediately found that he could now move his face, and did so with some relief. Though if he was honest, he'd secretly rather enjoyed the excuse for being pressed that close to Sirius.

"Hmm, maybe I'll keep the contact like this for the next two days." Harry teased.

Sirius mumbled something that sounded as if it might have been rude and licked Harry's palm. Harry snatched his hand away and ended up with Sirius's tongue stuck to his hand instead.

Now Harry was the one laughing hysterically as he groped for some impersonal patch of bare skin to hold on to. He blushed as he managed to fumble his hand over Sirius's groin before successfully latching on to his hand, which gave a relieved Sirius, back the use of his tongue.

No longer so uncomfortably locked together they both slowly slid down the closet wall and sat and laughed until tears ran down both their faces.

"Now we know why the twins let us apply that stuff and didn't insist on being present for the show." Sirius mused once they had both calmed down.

"Yeah, what a pair of bloody mugs we are." Harry agreed a little ruefully.

"Oh well, we'll get them back good once this has worn off." Sirius said with a shrug. "Two days stuck together should give us plentiful time to plan something spectacular."

"Though really… we could have worn gloves to apply it, or I could have applied both lots, not to mention they couldn't guarantee we'd be in direct skin to skin contact when we cast the fixative spell." Harry mused. "It could just be coincidence or our own idiocy that has us stuck this way."

"I'm still going to get them." Sirius said stubbornly.

"We spend a fair bit of time together anyway, and we don't have to make the contact obvious. Just rolling our sleeves up and leaning our arms together counts and wouldn't look obvious at all." Harry protested, not keen on letting it be known that he had been so superbly pranked by the twins – with some special help from his own stupidity.

Sirius smiled at Harry in the darkness of the closet. "But people are going to wonder what is going on if anyone wants to talk to just one of us; the other won't be able to leave - which will look distinctly odd."

"We'll manage." Harry encouraged. Then faltered as a disturbing thought occurred to him. "Oh shit. I don't really fancy two whole days with no shower or bath, particularly right before the bloody ball, so I'm somehow going to have to squash you into the cubicle too, and people are going to wonder what we're both doing sleeping in one bed and showering together, not to mention when every time one of us uses the loo the other one will have to tag along too – we are going to seem downright weird."

"Oh shit." Sirius agreed as he suddenly had disturbing visions of wet naked Harry in the shower and his own probable reaction to such a glorious sight on obvious display for his oblivious godson.

"I quite agree Sirius." Harry was having his own thoughts about how embarrassing this could get. "Not to mention the stupid ball that we will now have to attend hand in hand."

"Oh shit." Sirius mumbled again, ducking his head to hide his overly wide grin. Harry wouldn't be able to go with Oliver now. He somehow resisted the urge to actually start whooping and bouncing up and down, but in his mind the cheering and gloating was deafening. Nyah, nyah to Oliver! This could be his chance to get rid of the git and firmly stake his own claim!

"It seemed a lot funnier when I was pushing this on Ron and Hermione." Harry grumbled.

"Maybe Fred and George will un-stick us." Sirius suggested unhelpfully, knowing damn well that that he was safe and that it would _never_ happen.

Harry snorted in disbelief. "I'm sure that the twins have left the scene of the crime by now, and I'm certainly not going to run around the country hand in hand with you in search of the stupid sods."

"Well Remus then. He was decent at potions when we were at school." Sirius continued, trying not to feel hurt that Harry wouldn't want to be seen in public holding his hand.

"Which was in fact twenty-odd years ago." Harry insisted. "He'll have forgotten all that unnecessary crap by now, and besides, this sticking solution is most likely a very special creation by the diabolical duo – it probably isn't in any _normal_ potions texts."

"Well, we can pretend to be working on something for the Victory bash and hide upstairs a lot, and if we only come out for meals then it won't be obvious that we are having the same problem as Ron and Hermione, and its not like we need a reason to prank the twins. We don't even need to tell _them _why we're pranking them but we'll still be getting them back." Sirius warmed to the idea. Okay, so hanging out in a bedroom with an oblivious Harry for two days had definite potential for embarrassment, but so much time to be spending up close, and hopefully personal with Harry simply had to be exploited.

"True." Harry agreed. "Okay, lets see if we can get away with hiding for now. But if people start to think we're being too bizarre even for you then we'll just have to confess and take the consequences."

"Confess what precisely?" An amused voice enquired. "Something relating to why you two are squatting in our broom cupboard holding hands?"

Harry and Sirius squinted into the bright light now streaming in from the hallway and fixed their gazes on Remus Lupin who was standing in the doorway clutching a broom. "Bugger off." They whined in unison.

"I wanted to put my broom away - _in the broom cupboard_." Remus persisted, intrigued by this strange new sight he had discovered. "But _now_ I want to know what you're doing."

Sirius scrabbled to his feet, and Harry followed, both cautiously poked their heads around the door before scurrying out and heading for the stairs.

"I don't get an explanation?" Remus asked with deep amusement.

"No." Growled Sirius as he started to climb, before being yanked back by Harry.

"He'll tell people that there is something wrong with us though, and Hermione will figure it out, and then she'll laugh at us before she kills us."

"You've made Hermione homicidal?" Remus shoved his broom carelessly into the closet and followed them with interest. "How excessively silly of you both."

"Fine! Follow us." Sirius grumbled as he galloped up the stairs dragging an unresisting Harry in his wake.

"Who are these idiots I am surrounded with?" Remus asked loudly as he climbed the stairs after his friends.


	4. Chapter 4

After the explanation of their predicament had been teased out of the two slightly chastened conspirators Remus sat down on the nearest level surface - which happened to be Harry's trunk - and wheezed loudly. "So the two of you pranked Hermione and Ron only to be indirectly pranked by the masters themselves." He managed to snort out.

"Yes, thank you." Sirius said sourly, as possible images of the torturous days and nights ahead of him coalesced into a single alarming vision of relentless embarrassment. _Bugger. Maybe this wouldn't be so amazing after all_. "We fully realise we, most likely, were had."

"Oh come on Sirius." Harry coaxed, not really wanting to spend the next two days literally stuck with a foul-tempered Sirius. "It is sort of amusing really, and it isn't like it is permanent, or we are at the mercy of the twin demons until they choose to undo it. Forty-eight hours is all it is. Then we are free to do a number on the buggers; we can show them what Padfoot is really made of."

Sirius managed a faint smile, but it looked more like a snarl.

Remus snorted loudly and tried to bite his fist to disguise the giggles that kept trying to well up. "Well it isn't _all _bad Sirius." He teased meaningfully.

"Okay, let us pretend that you don't find our problem hysterically amusing for a moment… how is this good except that it provides free entertainment for deranged old werewolves?" Sirius demanded. _Remus had better not say anything to tip Harry off. Not while he had no means of escape._

Remus merely smiled cheekily, conjured a carton of popcorn and started munching

"Graaahhhh!" Sirius announced and stomped into the bathroom to dramatically slam the door and be alone… unfortunately it was a less than perfect dramatic exit with Harry stumbling along behind him.

Outside the bathroom Remus laughed louder.

Harry smirked at Sirius.

"He won't laugh too hard if he knows what is good for him." Sirius promised darkly.

Harry continued grinning at him. "Oh come on, if this wasn't us you'd be laughing your head off too. We'll get through this, you've already convinced me that we will, so why the sudden panic now?"

Sirius eyed Harry for a moment. "Because I don't know about you, but I will be less than comfortable doing _everything _with you actually attached to me for the next two days."

Harry looked hurt and Sirius immediately cursed himself for his insensitivity.

"Imagine being stuck to Hermione for two days!" Harry protested. "Be glad it is me!"

Sirius shuddered. "What an awful thought." He made his voice go high and girly. "No Sirius, we can't have more breakfast, I need to go to the library right now for my daily fix of dust and eyestrain and we can't risk you getting honey on my babies, oh, I mean my books!" He twirled himself up in the shower curtain and batted his eyelashes at Harry.

Harry snorted at Sirius's antics, despite still feeling ever so slightly hurt.

Sirius unfurled himself from the curtain with a sigh. "But seriously, sorry Harry, that wasn't personal, but I just wouldn't be comfortable having _anyone _around all the time… Think about it. Having someone with you constantly while you're trying to eat, think, shower, sleep and piss would be just a little too much – unless you were lovers I suppose." He added slyly. "Although if I had to be stuck to anyone for two days, I am glad it is you, at least I know I won't go completely mad having you around."

Harry grinned at him. "You're already completely mad. It can't get any worse."

Sirius shot him a baleful look, and his lower lip quivered artistically.

Harry shook his head at Sirius's amateur dramatics. "Okay. I get what you're saying. I'm actually glad it is you too, and I can't imagine trying to shower with Hermione. Ron would kill me for one thing."

"How about showering with Slughorn?" Sirius couldn't resist.

Harry mock-glared at him before turning to the mirror and preening exaggeratedly. "Be very glad the only showering you will be doing with anyone is me. I am after all the sexiest bloke in the building."

Sirius forced a laugh and fumbled frantically for the door handle. Suddenly the bathroom seemed much too intimate for him and Harry to be standing in. _That_ humiliation could damn well wait.

Remus had himself more or less under control by the time Harry and Sirius burst out of the bathroom.

"Are you two sorted out now?" He queried uncertainly.

The only response he received was a strange exchange of glances and a vague but collective nod. Remus shook it off easily and stood up intending to leave. It wasn't the first time that he had been more than a little frustrated with the very odd bond between Harry and Sirius… and Tonks would doubtless be better company than the two sulky oafs who had just pranked themselves, and who knew… perhaps this would even produce some kind of results that might make Sirius a bit more bearable to be around.

Remus hastily let himself out, and closed the door firmly behind him, but Sirius was only a step behind and he rapidly began warding the door to the point where Harry idly wondered if they would be able to get out again in time for breakfast the next day.

"You could help you know." Sirius pouted as Harry tucked a hand comfortably under Sirius's shirt and continued to merely stand back and watch him work.

"I would, but I think we're going to need Bill's skills just to get out again, and you know Hermione almost as well as I do – if she decides she wants to come in here to terrorize us and demand we fix things then she is certainly going to find a way in eventually. That girl could break into Gringotts if she had to."

"What do you suggest then, that we make it easy for her?" Sirius asked, pausing in his spell casting. "That we leave the door unlocked, roll out the welcome mat and just hide under the ruddy bed?"

xxx

"I didn't actually mean it." Sirius whined in Harry's ear.

"Why not?" Harry whispered back. "Because she got in so easy she thinks we aren't here, and thus will go looking elsewhere while we get some undisturbed sleep."

Sirius merely grunted and shifted his weight, trying to get a clearer view through the tiny gap between the floor and the loosely hanging coverlet on Harry's bed.

"See! Going, going, going… gone!" Harry proclaimed in a very small but extremely triumphant voice as his disgruntled best friends took a very cursory look around the seemingly deserted bedroom and shuffled out of his room together and banged the door behind them.

Harry and Sirius lay together for several minutes longer, listening intently for any sound to indicate that their pursuers were returning, before flipping up the dangling bedclothes and clumsily clambering out to flop down on top of the bed.

"Well, I guess we already settled the your place or mine issue." Harry kidded a little uneasily.

Sirius merely grunted and made himself comfortable. Harry's bed! He was spending the night in Harry's bed! Okay, so they were fully clothed and it was only due to some stupid sticking solution… but still! Harry's bed!

"Hey! Not so fast Mister." Harry tugged at the hand he held. "I don't know about you, but I would like to brush my teeth before I try to sleep."

Sirius grumbled upright, "Fine, fine. Can we sneak to my room and get me something to sleep in besides jeans?"

"Remus didn't return my cloak, so no. I am not risking wandering and possibly encountering the wrath of Hermione. You can borrow some of my stuff instead." Harry replied as he got Sirius on his feet and headed for the bathroom.

"Does that include your toothbrush?" Sirius immediately wanted to know. "Because that implies a lot of commitment you know, and I've been hurt before."

Harry gave a long-suffering sigh and began poking through his bathroom cupboard for a spare toothbrush.

"And how are we supposed to pee if we hold hands all the time?" Sirius added thoughtfully as he stared at the toilet. "Can you grab some other bit of me while I unzip and go."

Harry gave him a quizzical look. "Depends which bit."

Sirius let out a bark of amusement. "Not that bit. My neck or something."

Harry reached up and tucked his left hand around the back of Sirius's neck and then resumed clattering through the messy cupboard with his free hand. "You know, I actually feel sorry for Ron and Hermione now," he commented as he finally found a new toothbrush for Sirius.

"Hmm?"

"Well, we're both men and using the toilet or showering at the same time is something blokes do all the time. Particularly at school."

"Though they don't usually touch each other at the same time." Sirius responded as he flushed the toilet.

"Well, no," Harry allowed as he presented the toothbrush to Sirius with a flourish and moved to use the loo himself. "But still. It isn't as weird for us as it must be for Ron and Hermione."

"Yeah, now I actually think about it, I understand why they'd be a bit mad." Sirius agreed cheerfully as he nosed through the disaster of Harry's cupboard and noted the presence of strawberry-flavoured lubricant with intense interest. "We're lucky, at least we're pretty comfortable with each other, so helping each other dress and undress and showering together and things won't be massively embarrassing, just a bit… odd." Sirius lied.

Harry nodded. "Yeah." He agreed unsteadily.

They managed to manoeuvre their way through brushing teeth and washing faces with minimal difficulty, but then undressing for bed presented a new challenge.

They managed to tangle themselves up in each other's clothing and the pauses between their day wear being removed and nightclothes put on were difficult and prompted quite a lot of nervous giggling.

"Not embarrassing huh?" Harry eventually groaned as Sirius finally helped pull his t-shirt over his head.

Sirius leered. "This is actually a lot more challenging that I thought it would be, and I seem to have inadvertently ended up groping you rather a lot."

Harry laughed. "Yes, to say nothing of me accidentally grabbing and poking you in various unnecessary places."

"Well, it's more action that I've seen in a long time, so you're forgiven." Sirius jested semi-seriously.

Harry laughed helplessly and collapsed back on the bed, dragging Sirius down beside him. "I can believe that."

"Hey! My lack of sex life is not to be mocked by anyone but me!"

"Sorry!" Harry snorted out.

"And I don't even have my lovely borrowed Chudley Cannons t-shirt on yet. How can I sleep without that monstrosity to drape my body and ward you off? You might take advantage of me again. You vile seducer you."

Harry grinned, even though Sirius was alarmingly close to the truth with his words. Harry had purposely dug out the biggest, ugliest t-shirt he owned (courtesy of Ron) for Sirius to wear in bed – in an attempt to remind himself to keep his hands away from places they probably weren't wanted.

"I think I may be able to resist." Harry said lightly as Sirius balled up the hideous shirt and flung it across the room. "Though I am sorely tempted." He added with deeper sincerity as his eyes roamed over delicious looking bare skin that was close enough to lick.

Sirius slid under the covers and made himself comfortable, a huge grin gracing his features. "Of course you're tempted. You're in bed with me."

Harry took a deep breath. What had Remus said to him? _You have to date the one who makes you happiest?_ Harry grinned to himself, well; maybe he should make the most of this bizarre yet welcome opportunity and see if he could get Sirius to date him.

Or do other interesting things with him.

To judge by the wholly unnecessary innuendo flying around, Sirius wasn't _completely_ oblivious or even completely indifferent to the possibility of having Harry as his lover. He might just need softening up, followed by some strong persuasion and heavy-duty flirting. Even the _possibility _of having a viable chance with Sirius would be well worth a bit of effort Harry decided, wondering how to get the ball rolling in a subtle way. Obviously less clothes would be a priority he decided.

"You know, seriously, I was just thinking that this sleeping lark would be a lot easier if there was more bare flesh to make contact with." Harry said carefully. "Because if our contact has to be kept to our hands or forearms we'll probably be more likely to wake each other up when we try to move in the night."

Sirius nodded eagerly and then hoped that Harry would take it as eagerness for more sleep, not for more skin being put on display. Then his hand was guided to rest on a taut belly and Harry quickly sat up and stripped off the t-shirt he had struggled to wrestle himself into only a minute earlier.

It sailed across the room to plop down beside the crumpled heap of orange cloth, and Sirius soon found himself lying with a shirtless Harry in his arms.

"Night Sirius." Harry murmured as he happily snuggled unnecessarily close and buried his face in Sirius's chest. "Sleep well."

"Uh-huh." Sirius muttered as he lay dazedly wondering exactly how so many of his dreams had suddenly started to come true with absolutely minimal effort on his part. "You too."

Harry inhaled the smell of pure Sirius and relished the warm chest and steady heartbeat under his cheek. Yes, step one in redirecting the passions of Sirius Black had been accomplished. If you could wangle it, sleeping half-naked in someone's arms was definitely the best way to get them considering you as a potential boyfriend.

Stepping up the flirting could wait until morning though, Harry decided sleepily. Right now, a truly perfect night's sleep was beckoning.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius slowly drifted into happy wakefulness swaddled in cosy blankets with a comfortable armful of Harry. Taking stock of the unusual and highly welcome situation, he found himself lying on his side, his bare chest snug against Harry's back, an arm curved over his waist and a thigh jammed between his legs… and his morning glory pressed insistently to Harry's unfairly perfect backside. _Oh shit._

Sirius decided to correct his overly limpet-like clutch on Harry and slowly slithered backwards, sighing with relief as he stopped jabbing Harry in the arse and lay back at a respectable distance with a casual hand just brushing Harry's shoulder.

Harry however, seemed to lack any consideration for Sirius's self respect and libido and rolled over, clamping an arm and leg firmly over Sirius as he insinuated his face into the hollow of Sirius's throat. Warm breath shuddered over sensitive skin as Harry made himself comfortable with a series of pleased little grunts.

Sirius whimpered and tried to resist the urge to press himself into the sleeping Harry.

Harry was careful not to let a wide grin split his face as he sprawled deliberately over the stiff yet trembling form of Sirius. The day was starting off very nicely. He wriggled happily, rubbing wantonly against Sirius. Enjoying the tiny muffled curses that seemed to want to erupt from the man under him. This pretending to be asleep thing was something he should have tried on Sirius ages ago.

Then a loud knock at his bedroom door made him jump, and pretence of sleep couldn't really be maintained after that. He met Sirius's eyes briefly and managed a shaky grin.

"Are you up dear?" Molly called as she opened his bedroom door.

_Yes, very __**up**__ thank you._ Harry thought irritably as Sirius threw himself off the bed with a thud and Harry sat blinking stupidly, pullling up his knees and trying to hide an erection and the fact that his arm was being dragged over the side of the bed as Sirius was forced to clutch at his hand out of sight.

"I'll be serving breakfast in just over quarter of an hour." Molly said cheerfully. "So up you get."

"Thank you." Harry mumbled insincerely. "I'll get dressed and be right down." _Hah! Undressed and down on Sirius maybe. Dressed and down for breakfast? Don't count on it…_

After Molly shut the door, Harry lay still for a long moment, and then peered over the edge of the bed. "Morning Sirius."

"Morning." Sirius grunted as he struggled to his feet and plunked himself down on the edge of the bed.

"You went down with a bit of a thump." Harry continued as he tried not to ogle naked chest too obviously.

Sirius grimaced. "My bum will be multi-coloured."

Without thinking Harry stretched out a hand and gently rubbed the top of the pained area. "You'll survive." He said quickly, to cover up his forward behaviour.

Sirius nodded, his eyes slightly unfocused. "Yeah."

Harry leaned closer and Sirius licked his lips.

"Fifteen minutes Harry! Don't go back to sleep!" Molly Weasley hollered as she passed his door on her way back down to the kitchen.

Harry jolted back against his pillows.

"Gah." Sirius grumbled. _That woman knows how to ruin the mood._

xxx

"Oh! Oh! I'm so happy to see the two of you together!" Molly Weasley exclaimed with pleasure as Ron and Hermione entered the kitchen hand in hand and late for breakfast. "I thought I'd never see this day! Just in time for the Victory Ball too. How lovely you'll look together!"

Sirius couldn't stand hearing any more and gave a great snore of laughter, choking slightly on the toast he had been eating and spraying crumbs unattractively on Harry. Fortunately for Sirius, Harry was too busy trying not to giggle like a schoolgirl to notice the dusting of lightly chewed toast, as he thumped Sirius on the back with the hand not currently under Sirius's shirt stroking absently at his side.

"I'm going to kill you both!" Ron declared as he brandished his wand.

"Not before they fix us!" Hermione demanded shrilly as she tugged his arm down.

The hive of activity that had been the kitchen completely froze, and all eyes flicked between the frazzled looking pair in the doorway and the conspirers lounging beside the stove as they choked down their amusement and hastily finished their breakfasts.

"Ronald?" Mrs Weasley questioned uncertainly.

Harry grinned at Hermione. Her hair was wilder than ever and she looked distinctly harassed, but she also seemed very at ease with her small inky hand tucked comfortably into Ron's large freckled one.

"Harry!" Hermione snapped. "Fix us!"

Harry subtly slid his hand round behind Sirius and left his thumb casually tucked into the back of Sirius' jeans, leaving his wand hand free. Both of them began to back away, drawing their wands as they did so.

"What exactly is going on?" Molly demanded, eyeing Sirius as if he was somehow responsible for the drama. (Which of course he was. As usual.)

"Not much." Harry said as he and Sirius circled warily round the table, keeping other diners between themselves and the irate pair facing them.

"They stuck us together!" Ron bellowed.

"But isn't it fun?" Sirius said cheekily.

"Oh it worked then? Brilliant." Two voices chimed in and Harry and Sirius jumped around to face the grinning twins.

Unsurprisingly, Ron and Hermione promptly redirected their fury towards the twins.

"I think we should take advantage and escape in this timely moment of confusion." Sirius muttered against Harry's ear.

Not particularly interested in discovering if the twins actually could unstick them, Harry nodded and they began edging towards the door.

"Don't you dare sneak off!"

"Foiled again." Sirius mumbled as they both turned meekly to face the wrath of Hermione.

"I wouldn't have a clue how to go about un-gluing you." Harry admitted cheerfully to his wild looking friend. "The twins invented this special sticky thingy, me and Sirius just applied it."

"But why?" Hermione wailed.

"Because you and Ron would be great together, but were doing a really outstandingly crappy job of getting together by yourselves and badly needed some kind of emergency help." Sirius said bluntly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Remus giving him a look that clearly said: _You hypocrite_. But Sirius carefully ignored him. The two situations were really not comparable.

Ron's mouth fell open and he gaped at his twin brothers and then at his mates.

"Sorry Ron." Harry said as he grabbed Sirius more tightly and backed towards the door. "But it's for your own good and my continuing sanity that this was done."

"Huh?"

"Watching endless flirting and play-fighting that goes nowhere gets very wearing to endure after a while." Harry explained. "I figured that it was high time you two were given a very big push towards each other - the twins just came up with the method."

Hermione raised her wand and Harry and Sirius simultaneously decided that it was time to be gone.

They turned to run, only to almost knock Oliver Wood to the floor.

"Sorry!" Harry flung over his shoulder as he pushed past Oliver and broke into a sprint.

"Harry?" Oliver called, puzzled that his future date should be running away from him - hand in hand with his godfather no less.

As Sirius and Harry crashed back into Harry's bedroom, Harry was starting to feel a bit remorseful at running away from Oliver. It wasn't Oliver's fault that he wasn't Sirius. Really, he owed the poor bloke an explanation.

Sirius saw a brooding look settle on Harry's face and immediately felt his good spirits plummet into his shoes. Harry was still wishing he could go to the ball with Oliver. He was a terrible person to be enjoying getting in the way of that. His earlier happy thoughts of ruining any possible future wedding plans and stealing Harry for himself suddenly seemed mean-spirited and selfish.

"If you want to go with him you can." He began to babble, hoping to make Harry smile again. "Of course you want to… So I can borrow your cloak and hide under it and you can pretend that I'm not there or something. I promise to be good and not stick some of Fred and George's inventions in his drink. But I'll have to be careful that you don't end up carrying around a disembodied hand, so we'd have to do a sticking charm on the cloak to make sure I don't hang out from underneath it. I know I shouldn't stand in the way of true love and all that… so what do you think?" He trailed off sickly, hardly able to believe that he was encouraging Harry to go out with the prat - literally under his very nose.

Harry just stared at him for a full minute until Sirius began to shift uncomfortably under that penetrating green stare. "Those are the most insane words I have ever heard come out of your mouth." Harry said at last. "And I've heard you say some really bloody daft things over the years."

"Sorry. I just happen to know that you really want to go with him."

Harry closed his eyes. Evidently he hadn't made much headway with Sirius if he still thought Harry desperately wanted to date Oliver.

A knock at the door made them both jump.

"Harry?" Oliver said. "Can I talk to you please?"

Harry gave Sirius a frustrated look and opened the door, Sirius who was of course still clutching his hand was forced to stand beside him fidgeting as he tried not to glare too menacingly at Oliver.

_Harry likes him._ He repeated to himself. _I must not be selfish. It might hurt Harry. Hurting Harry is bad._

Oliver's eyes quickly tracked their joined hands and his face twisted. "My mistake. I can see that I'm not wanted."

Harry reached out to grab his arm, unwilling to let his old friend and comrade leave with bad feelings between them. "I'm sorry Oliver. I didn't expect any of this to happen. When I agreed to be your date tonight I meant it. Things have just happened since."

Oliver nodded slowly. "Thank you. But still. It doesn't leave us with much to say right now."

"It was a potions mistake." Sirius finally blurted, unable to stand the guilt of spoiling things for Harry even if it could benefit himself. _Though of course generosity and honesty could possibly give Harry good thoughts about him… so it might not be a total loss._ "He doesn't really want to go to the ball with me, I just messed up and accidentally stuck him to me, so he's kind of… stuck with me."

Harry felt his hopes crumble even as Oliver started to look hopeful.

"But I still can't go with you tonight." He reminded Oliver quickly. "Stuck to Sirius and all."

Sirius opened his mouth and Harry hastily clapped his free hand over it, afraid that Sirius would launch into plans for yet another impractical scheme for getting Harry on a date with anyone who wasn't him. _Could the man make it any clearer that he doesn't want to be with me… and just when I thought I actually had a ghost of a chance? _Harry thought painfully, unaware that his heartsick feelings briefly showed on his face.

Oliver blinked at the look on Harry's face, the reasons for his behaviour suddenly all too clear to him. Unrequited love_ hurt. _

"I'll leave you to it then." He said as generously as he could, wishing that Sirius Black knew exactly what he was doing to Harry. "In fact, if you don't mind Harry, I think I'll ask Neville to join me tonight. Last I heard, he didn't have a date and he's a bloody nice chap."

Harry frowned at the sudden about-face from Oliver; unable to understand what had triggered it and desperately wanting to ask but knowing he didn't currently have the right to. "I think he is still free." He said instead, relieved that Oliver hadn't taken things particularly badly.

"Good." Oliver said. "Then I'll probably see you there tonight – hopefully with Neville on my arm." Then he turned to Sirius, wishing that he could bluntly point out what he was missing, but knowing that Harry would have a conniption fit if he did. "Cheer up mate. There are worse people to go out with than Harry - even if he can't dance to save his life." Ignoring Harry's splutters he continued ruthlessly. "You never know Sirius, you might have such a good pretend date with Harry that you'll have to ask him out again for real. Maybe even find out if he dances better horizontally than he does upright."

Sirius just made strangling noises and Oliver departed, satisfied that he'd shaken things up a bit for Harry. After all, they had been mates first.

"He's going to go with Neville now?" Sirius gasped as Harry calmly closed the door. "Aren't you upset?"

Harry gave a jerky shrug. "I like Oliver. He's a good looking, Quidditch-mad, Gryffindor war hero, and he's fun to be around, so I would have been happy to be his date - but I'm not in love with him or anything."

Sirius grinned. He couldn't help it. "Well that _is_ good news. I thought for a while that I was going to be buggering up the passion of the century."

"Well, you never could see what was under your nose." Harry snapped.

Sirius blinked at that unexpectedly biting retort. "I don't? Ouch, and I thought that maybe you had kind of a soft spot for me."

"Oh I've got a soft spot for you all right. But I think it's in my head."

"Okay." Sirius said warily, unsure of what it was that had transformed Harry into this bad tempered creature.

They stood in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, until Sirius felt an unwelcome suspicion creep into his mind. He tried to reject it, but it returned with a vengeance.

"You _are_ in love with him, aren't you?" He blurted angrily. "You're just trying to be noble about it."

Harry felt the tide of fury rise a bit higher as Sirius persisted in not seeing the truth, despite Oliver apparently showing unusual perception and almost spelling things out for him.

"Sirius! Leave. It. Alone." He said dangerously.

Sirius nodded and resolved to leave it alone. For as long as it took Harry to calm down a little bit anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

They passed the rest of the afternoon lazily. Lounging about reading, attempting a few games of chess. But despite the apparent calm there was an undercurrent of uncertainty and hostility running through their interactions. Sirius resolved to try to talk to Harry again, but this time he wanted to pick his moment more carefully. But the moment never did arrive.

Instead, Tonks rolled up at Harry's bedroom door and after a perfunctory knock she poked her head around the door and grinned at them as they huddled on opposite ends of the enormous velvet sofa, bare feet pressed together in the exact middle of the cushions.

"Are you two villains still coming tonight?"

Harry looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. "Is there a reason to suggest that we won't be?" He asked sharply.

Sirius winced. _Great. Harry was __**still**__ in a narky mood._

Tonks didn't seem to pick up on the ice in Harry's voice. "Cool. We're leaving at eight. Cars have been arranged; so don't be late coming down all right? You're unpopular enough as it is. Now, I don't suppose you've seen Remus lately have you?"

Sirius shook his head. "Not since breakfast."

"Busy festering in your little hidey-hole huh?" Tonks said knowingly. "Ron and Hermione _are_ quite scarily pissed off with you two."

Sirius shrugged. "It isn't as if we just stuck them to some random person, if they had any sense at all they'd at least try to make the most of being attached to the person they fancy most. It's not like they even have to worry about their feelings being returned. _Everyone_ knows Ron and Hermione are bloody mad about each other."

Tonks nodded. "Yeah, true. If it was me joined at the hip with the bloke I fancy and knowing for sure that he fancied me back… well, I reckon I'd be having a right good time with him about now. But it takes all sorts I suppose."

Sirius scented a hint of wistfulness. "Oh really? Who might this lucky bloke be?"

Tonks gave him a quelling look and started to close the door. "I'm not telling _you_ who I'm interested in. You'd only make a pest of yourself trying to embarrass him."

"I'm a destroyer of budding romances everywhere." Sirius said gloomily as the door banged behind Tonks. "The big, halitosis-ridden slurping smooch of death to true love."

"Don't start that again." Harry warned, his big feet pushing against Sirius's for emphasis.

Sirius subsided behind his paper immediately and Harry immediately felt a bit guilty for being so bad-tempered with him. It wasn't Sirius's fault that he was a big clueless dope who had no idea that his godson had been pointlessly adoring him for years. It didn't make it less frustrating though.

Harry flipped his book to the floor with a careless thud that would make Hermione wince and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, considering the too-quiet Sirius hidden behind the newspaper. _What can I do to shake him up? _Harry wondered, because until he got some kind of definitive answer, with Sirius making his feelings - or lack of - clear one way or the other he wasn't going to just give up now.

_Really, I should make the most of the whole stuck together thing while it lasts and try to get him into a situation where he'll have to betray any feelings he might have. _Harry eyed the bathroom door, well they _did_ have to shower and get ready to go out… and one of the good (or bad) things about being a bloke was that you couldn't exactly hide how sexually interested you were. And really, Sirius showing _any_ kind of interest would be at least some indication that Harry stood a chance at getting the lover of his choice.

"No time like the present." Harry muttered.

"For what?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"To get naked." Harry replied bluntly, feeling very rewarded by the choking noises that promptly emanated from behind the Daily Prophet.

"We… ah, H-h-harry?"

_And stammering incoherence too._ Harry grinned, immediately feeling a lot more positive. Surely Sirius wouldn't be remotely bothered by the prospect of shared nudity unless he had some kind of secret feelings to hide?

"Well, I don't know about you," Harry drawled happily, "but _I_ have a decent reputation to preserve and I intend to get clean and beautiful before we go out. And given our current situation that means you have to come too. So, shower time." He tweaked the newspaper from between Sirius's limp fingers, hauled him to his feet and started dragging him towards the bathroom.

For his part, Sirius was thinking of the most unpleasant things he could possibly envisage. _Mundungus in a pink sequinned thong_. _Snape in a naughty medi-witch get-up. Molly Weasley with nipple tassels. Ugh. _Sirius shuddered, wondering if he'd ever be able to enjoy sex again after those erection-killing thoughts.

Harry leaned into the shower cubicle and set the water flowing, letting the spray catch his toned forearms and glisten against his lightly tanned skin.

Sirius cringed and crossed his legs. Even Harry's _arms_ were turning him on now - he really was so very screwed. Sex? So not a problem. Potential death-by-godson? Distinctly could be a problematic part of his near future.

Between the luxuriant gush of hot, steamy water that would soon be pouring over their naked bodies and the gleaming drops on Harry's skin there was more than enough going on in the bathroom to distract him from his desperate efforts to blot his passion out with unpleasant thoughts. There just wasn't a hope in hell that he was going to get through this shower with his dignity intact.

Hopefully Harry would be understanding enough to not kill him for it… after all, it wasn't as if he'd _chosen_ to fall for Harry. It had just happened…

Harry watched Sirius out of the corner of his eye as he turned on the shower and pulled fresh towels from his bathroom closet. Sirius was standing on one leg and… squirming. The look on his face was dark and his mouth was pulled down at the corners. Harry frowned. Sirius definitely didn't look as if he was about to shower with the man of his dreams. Maybe Sirius just didn't want to be this close to anyone; he had said that he wasn't comfortable with the whole thing when they'd first stuck themselves together.

Harry angrily tossed the towels onto the edge of the basin and gave a small grunt of frustration.

It caught Sirius's attention and he couldn't help reaching for Harry, cursing himself as his hand came to rest on a strong shoulder. His palm itched and his fingertips began some tentative explorations before trying to roam off of their own volition, he glared at them, willing them to stay still. Apparently his body couldn't tell the difference between seductive and supportive.

He cleared his throat and firmly stilled his wandering hand. "What can I do to help Harry? Do you want to go and talk to the twins and actually explain the whole situation? You're their friend. They wouldn't like to be responsible for actually ruining your life or anything." Sirius pressed on doggedly. _He'd make Harry happy if it killed him._ "I'm sure they'll help us make sure that the only guy you have to share a shower cubicle with is Oliver."

Harry spun around and stared at Sirius disbelievingly. "Just stop!" He shouted and leaned over and kissed Sirius.

The kiss was over almost before Sirius had time to realise what was happening.

"There!" Harry shouted recklessly. "I did it! I kissed you! If you opened your eyes then you might see how long I've been wanting to do that!"

"You've been wanting to do that?" Sirius groaned.

"Yes." Harry said defiantly. "And even if you hate me now I'm glad I did it! I had to know what it would feel like!"

"And you say that _I_ can't see what's under my nose?" Sirius remarked gleefully as he pulled Harry closer until their noses touched, desire burning through his veins.

"Huh?" Harry stumbled up against Sirius and had to steady himself by clutching his arms. _Mmm, good arms_. His fingers absently kneaded warm flesh.

"Harry." Sirius said patiently.

"Huh?"

"Kiss me again."

"You mean… you wanted this too?" Harry gasped as he sagged back against the cool tile of his bathroom wall and Sirius followed, his body crowding and crushing Harry. His lips catching Harry's in a passionate kiss.

Sirius finally stopped kissing him only long enough to catch his breath.

"More." Harry demanded, his hands roaming freely all over Sirius now that he knew he Sirius welcomed and returned his interest.

"You've got more arms than the giant squid." Sirius chuckled as he swatted teasingly at Harry's hands as they groped his arse and thighs in speedy succession for the tenth time.

Harry blushed, "Eh, sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Sirius enthused. "Put them all to good use by taking your clothes off extremely quickly."

Harry snorted. "So romantic Sirius."

"I can do romance." Sirius protested as he eagerly assisted Harry by yanking inelegantly at his shirt buttons until they either came undone or broke.

"Mmm-Hmm." Harry politely responded, fond disbelief quite clear in his voice.

"I can." Sirius protested weakly as Harry twined his fingers into Sirius's hair and kissed him again, his tongue tangling hotly with Sirius's.

"Shower." Harry finally gasped as he stopped sucking on Sirius's lower lip; his hands already busy shoving down Sirius's jeans and slowly backing him towards the steaming cubicle. "I've had bad ideas about getting you into this shower all day."

Sirius stumbled his way out of his jeans and almost fell into the shower with Harry right behind him, still trying to kick off his own jeans.

"Do you think we're being a bit desperate?" Sirius asked as he grabbed Harry and pressed himself shamelessly against him. "Moving too fast?"

Harry ground himself against Sirius and licked his way down the side of his throat. "Probably. But as I've been wanking over you in this shower for years, I'm not stopping now I've finally got you in here too!"

Sirius gulped as Harry wrapped a determined hand around him and squeezed.

"Uhh, Harry. So good." Sirius whined before he could stop himself.

Harry grinned. "You're easily pleased. What if I get some lube out of my cupboard and we did this properly?" He asked invitingly.

Sirius snorted and trailed a hand down until he could grip Harry in a way that made him hiss between his teeth and cant his hips forward. "In here? With all this wet tile? One good thrust and someone would go flying across the room!"

Harry smiled and nipped at Sirius's lower lip. "Point taken."

"Later." Sirius promised him between kisses.

"Definitely." Harry moaned in response as Sirius stroked him.

As worked up as they were, they were gasping and coming in minutes.

Harry slumped against Sirius and let the warm water pound down, washing away any trace of their passion. "I think I could get addicted to this." He muttered and stepped back just far enough to look into Sirius's eyes.

Sirius tried to say something, but only a whimper made it, no words forming, just the thought of a name. He clutched Harry tighter and rained kisses down on his neck and jaw.

"Sirius?" Harry asked in amusement.

"Mmm." Sirius smiled dopily and put both hands up to scrape his wet, dishevelled hair away from his face.

Harry grabbed the shower gel, supposing that he should actually get clean as well as getting off and then he realised that Sirius was no longer touching him.

"Uhh?" He began.

But Sirius already had his hands on him again, before removing and reapplying them to Harry's abs with endearing enthusiasm. "We're unstuck." Sirius announced.

"Yeah." Harry agreed a little regretfully. "Just when I'd got to enjoy having you around."

Sirius squeezed the bottle of shower gel and assisted Harry in lathering up the handful of foam. "Well, the timing isn't bad. At least I've already had my wicked way with you and you aren't planning to run off with Oliver now you've had first hand knowledge of what being with me is like." He paused. "You're not going to run off with him are you?"

Harry rolled his eyes, better able to tolerate Sirius's blind spots when the man was naked and busy scrubbing his back.

"I told you before. Yeah, I like Oliver. But if I can have you… then I don't want anyone else. I was only planning on dating him because I thought I wouldn't be lucky enough to actually have a chance with the man of my dreams."

"Oh." Sirius seemed to digest that. "You do mean me, right?"

"Yes Sirius." Harry sighed happily as Sirius wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "Definitely you. Only you."

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Thanks to all you guys for the reviews. I do appreciate it. Sorry this part took a while to get out, but I do find it quite difficult to write a love scene that isn't over the line rating-wise for this site. I hope I finally nailed it though :)


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